An Excellent Wife, Who Can Find?!

Week one of my "adventure" has proved to be a bit rough.  Partly because it was an exhausting week in general (which explains why I have already strayed from my "posting on Sundays" idea) and partly because this first verse is rather vague and doesn't seem to hold much to study on within its handful of words.  Yet, I did manage to round up a few interesting things in my quiet times this week.
This week I studied on the sum-it-up verse at the beginning (Proverbs 31:10) of the "Hymn to a Good Wife," as The Message version calls it.  "A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds."  Before studying, I just sat and pondered on the verse for a bit.  This could go so many different directions, as there are so many definitions of "a good woman."  I live in a college town, so I'm sure many of the guys you asked around here would say a good woman is one who always looks good and can hold her alcohol well.  But it you ask the men within the church, I'm sure the expectations would be a bit different.  The passage goes on later about the attributes of a good woman, so I won't dwell on that much (considering the next few months will be full of discovering what a "good woman" is.)
The Amplified Bible quotes this first verse as, "A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman -- who is he who can find her?  She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls."  I liked this version better because it gives you a bit more to aim for.  It also made me question myself... Am I capable?  Am I intelligent?  Am I virtuous?
I'm capable of a lot of things, and of juggling all of those things simultaneously, so I felt like I had that one covered.  I consider myself to be somewhat intelligent.  I'm no rocket scientist, but I'm well-read, retain knowledge well, and did well in school, so I figure that's about as intelligent as I can get as of now.  But am I virtuous?  Virtuous is defined as "conforming to moral and ethical principles; morally excellent; upright."  Now, there is something to work on.  No matter how virtuous you think you are, there is always room for improvement.  We will never be perfect, especially with Christ as our role model.  But we are called to pursue perfection and work to be like Him.  Ephesians 5:1-2 says, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."  I personally know that I do not walk in love as I am called to be doing.  Sure, I love my husband, my son, my family, my friends...  But I hold grudges.  I don't pray for the ones who make me angry.  I don't show compassion towards those who need help/love.  Sometimes, I don't even show love towards the people that it should be easiest to show it to!  But why?
I think a big part of why we withhold love from others at times is our sinful self-centeredness.  In an article for Elle magazine in 2011, Heidi Julavits stated, when speaking about why she doesn't enjoy conforming to being a typical "wife," "This is not just me refusing a gender category.  This is me refusing heartbreak.  I do not caretake because I am taking care.  I am taking care of myself.  I am being cautious, tentative, and selfish."  I find it sad that she pushes away from taking care of her family because of wanting to care more for herself, but I realize that no matter what we say, we ALL do it!  It's our selfish flesh coming out and pushing us further from the roles we are in and, ultimately, further from God.  When we give in to that instinct to make sure that we are taken care of before we can be bothered to provide for others, that selfishness is winning and growing within us.  I'll freely admit that I have a problem with selfishness at times.  It doesn't seem fair that I don't get to sleep straight through the night when I'm exhausted or not feeling well.  Or that I don't get to sit through an hour long television show without being interrupted.  Or that I am lucky to get a shower every-other-day. But that's the role I've chosen.  I wanted to be a wife and a mother, and sometimes I forget that those responsibilities don't only last from nine-to-five like most jobs.
Being worn out is a hard thing to overcome sometimes.  I go through phases where, after my son is asleep and I should be cleaning up from the tornado that is a very fast crawling/almost walking 9 1/2-month-old, I just want to sit and do absolutely nothing.  Not even think.  And sometimes I give in and that's exactly what I do until it's time to go to bed.  Then I wake up the next morning overwhelmed with everything that has to be done to prepare for the day (after, of course, waking up multiple times at night.)  Am I saying that it's wrong to let yourself rest after a long day?  Of course not!  But there is a time for rest, and a time to get things accomplished.  If I know that not cleaning up the kitchen before bed is going to make me wake up frustrated and cause the next day to be bad, then I should probably spend twenty minutes cleaning up the kitchen, and then relax and do nothing.
What about being worth "far more than diamonds?" Salary.com posted an article on what a mom is worth.  A stay-at-home mom juggles, on average, 94.7 hours of work a week, broken down into the categories of a CEO, Facilities Manager, Laundry Operator, Computer Operator, Housekeeper, Cook, Daycare Teacher, Van Driver, Janitor, and Psychologist.  Based on the base salaries of all of those jobs, they say that a mom is worth $112,962 per year!  Man, if only someone saw that and actually paid us that!  I don't know diamond prices well (and all of the references I looked up were far too difficult for me to navigate,) but I'd say she's worth far more than diamonds in her lifetime of work!  Of course, every wife/mother has different duties they tackle on a daily basis, but it sure made me appreciate my mother a lot more when I became one myself and realized how hard it was to manage it all with just one child when she made it through with four of us.
So in my studying this week, I've realized that I'm not striving to be Christlike nearly as much as I should be. It should be a constant goal!  And that my flesh wins many more times than I would like it to.  But I also realize that I am human and will never be perfect.  All I can do is pursue Christ wholeheartedly, and provide for my family in whatever way I can so that they are able to grow in their relationship with Christ as well.  In the end, that's all that's really going to matter.
Next week I'll be studying "Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it."  Enjoy a blessed week, and check back in (hopefully!) on Sunday! :)

Blessings,
Trish

The Beginning of My Journey

Well...  Here goes nothing.  Day One of a journey with an unknown ending.  I have to admit that I am a bit intimidated by this new venture I am taking on.  Anyone that knows me knows that I always have great intentions to begin with, but I'm not the best at following through.  So, here's to a new beginning, and (hopefully!) a new me!

I suppose I should tell you a little about myself to start.  I'm Trish, a daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother and Christian in my late twenties (who is not quite sure how she feels about placing the word "late" in that sentence.)  I'm not anywhere near perfect, as I'm sure you will see in the following weeks/months as I share my journey with you.  I'm striving daily to be the best I can be and to praise the Lord through it all with my words AND actions.  I love to cook, read, craft, and decorate, but I am also good at being stubborn, frustrated, annoyed, and somewhat-lazy.  Hence, my new journey.

As I'm sure many of you know, there is a small 21-verse section of the Bible that describes the perfect woman in God's eyes.  And I'm sure that you also know of about a gazillion blogs and books dedicated to this 21-verse section.  My hope is that this one may be different from the other gazillion things you have read.  That little-ole-me can somehow make an impact based on the things I am learning.  I have had a tiny dream in my heart since I was in high school that I have never shared with anyone.  I promise...  No one, my family included, knows about this dream even as I am typing it right now.  In fact, I bet my husband learns this new fact about me right as he is reading this.  (Hi, Honey!)  I love to write.  I have probably started eight-ten books since high school in college-ruled notebooks that are now in a landfill somewhere because I begin them and get frustrated, tossing them into the trash.  Such a waste of paper, I know.  But now there is this wonderful thing called the internet that allows me to just type and the words appear for you lovely people to read without wasting one tiny smidge of paper (besides the post-its that my notes are on.)  So I decided it's time to see if I can actually make this dream a reality.  I'm not looking to be published.  Or to even be talked about.  I'm just looking to make an impact, even if only on one person.  To know that I mattered somehow.  Because, as I'm sure most of you know, there is always this little ping in our hearts that makes us feel like no matter how much we run ourselves ragged, and no matter how much time we spend trying to be "perfect," we just will never make a difference.  The awesome thing about God is that I KNOW I will make a difference.  It just may not always be in the way I think I'm going to.  But when He puts something in your heart, it's there for a reason.  So, I'll embrace it and see what happens!

I didn't sleep more than an hour last night.  I was in bed longer than that, but just couldn't sleep.  After a two-week sermon series at my church on Biblical Femininity, I have had more tiny pings enter my heart.  So, last night all I did was think.  And pray.  And think more.  Then all morning, I thought.  Then decided that if I ever want to sleep again, I should probably start doing everything I am thinking about.  And so it begins!

First off, what is all this Proverbs 31 stuff about?  Well, the best way to explain it is to let you read it yourself!  I'm an English Standard girl, but for some reason, The Message version of this passage really sticks out to me.  So, here's some reading for you for today!

10-31  A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.  Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.  Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.  She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing.  She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.  She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.  She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.  First thing in the morning, she dresses for her work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.  She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.  She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.  She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.  She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.  She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks.  Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.  She designs gowns and sells them, brings sweaters she knits to the dress shops.  Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.  When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.  She keeps an eye on her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.  Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise; "Many women have done wonderful things, bu you've outclassed them all!"  Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.  The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.  Give her everything she deserves!  Festoon her life with praises!

Whew! That is a doozy of a list, right?!  See what I mean when I say I am very intimidated by the journey ahead of me?  I know that I will never be perfect, but we are called to strive to be the best we can be in God's eyes, and not our own.  So, it's time to see where I'm going.

My hope is to tackle a verse/sentence a week of this list by studying them in my daily quiet times and putting them into practice throughout the week, then see where it goes from there.  I appreciate prayers from anyone who is interested in following this journey as I share (openly, might I add,) the things that I learn and the struggles I encounter.  If you'd like to study along with me and let me know how your journey goes as well, feel free!  For those that choose to do so, my first week of study will involve the first point: "A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds." and continue in that fashion.

I can't wait to fill you in on how this week goes on Sunday (the day I will regularly post.)

Blessings,
Trish