Let me just start by saying that we just had a disgusting week weather-wise here in West Virginia. It has been cold and rainy and just plain dreary! I love fall, but I'm not a huge fan of the gross days that make you just want to lie on the couch and do nothing but watch television, eat soup, and nap! So when I realized what verse I was studying, I knew that it was going to be another week of not taking it literally... Proverbs 31:17 says, "First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started."
For those of you who don't know, I am a stay-at-home mom who nannies four days a week. So between my almost one year-old, and the two year-old I watch, I pretty much spend my entire day on the floor playing or in the kitchen making snacks except for the forty-five minutes of peace around 3 o'clock when the boys are both asleep. My work doesn't require business suits, dresses, or even jeans. To dress for my work, my hair doesn't have to be perfect and I don't have to wear makeup, jewelry, and heels. In fact, I rarely wear makeup or jewelry, and never wear heels anymore. Such is the life of a mom! My work uniform typically consists of yoga or sweat pants, a t-shirt that is okay to marker on, and whatever pair of socks I have left in my drawer after forgetting to do laundry that week. My hair is always in a messy ponytail, and I'm not talking about the newly-stylish messy, but the I-slept-with-my-hair-up-so-it-might-as-well-stay-up messy ponytail. There is, indeed, a difference. I still like to look nice when my husband gets home from work and try to make sure I am fairly presentable when I go out in public. I haven't lost any self-confidence, and I am still very proud of the way God has formed me, but my priorities have changed. Making sure the diaper bag is packed is way more important than putting makeup on. And having a fun activity for the boys to do that day is more of a priority to me than straightening my hair. So for me, dressing for work is more of a mental thing than an appearance issue.
When I wake up in the morning, I go. I don't have time to sit and sip coffee quietly by myself, or to read while relishing in a quiet home. When I try to plan on waking up early so that I can take pleasure in such things, my son instinctively knows and wakes up at the exact same time. Needless to say, I have given up on early-rising to get time to myself. I depend on naps for that one! From the moment my feet hit the floor, I am in planning and tackling mode. Some days I may not plan as much as others, but there is always a plan. I can't really roll up my t-shirt sleeves, but I am always eager to get started on what the day has set before me. I don't get to sit very often when my son is awake, unless it is because he is nursing, or fell and wants to have some Mommy Cuddle Time. When the television isn't set to the Toddler Tunez music channel, it's on Disney Junior for the boys hour or two of TV time. I have a horrible habit of looking back on my day and saying I did nothing, and I always think I have just been lazy. I am just as bad as the people that think I am the stereotypical stay-at-home mom that accomplishes nothing in her day. So I decided to spend this week looking back on my day and noting my accomplishments to myself. I honestly never realized how much I do get done in one day, and how much I completely ignore myself. Here is what I have noted that my typical day looks like:
Wake up when my son starts yelling whatever random sounds he has learned that week while playing with his animals in his crib. Try to (hurriedly and half-asleep) put on clothing that semi-matches. Get my son from his crib, change his diaper, and go downstairs. Get my son's breakfast ready while he cleans to my legs yelling "mama" because you know he is just STARVING! Feed him, then attempt to make my own breakfast while he plays and while also being distracted by things that need cleaned up in the kitchen. Finally sit down to eat my breakfast, and immediately get the tug that means "It's nursing time!" Nurse son, then reheat cold breakfast and just eat it standing in the kitchen. Playtime until son is ready to nap. Go upstairs (slowly, as son takes his sweet time crawling and playing with each carpeted step,) nurse son again, lay him down. Make a cup of coffee/tea and enjoy my morning quiet time, followed by a workout and shower, if time permits. Typically I get the workout in, but not the shower. Then my son wakes up, and I sometimes attempt to shower due to the previous workout, resulting in him being soaked and therefore getting dressed. (Notice I never changed him out of pajamas that morning... This is why. See, I plan!) Child I watch (we'll call him "J") arrives. Immediately I make lunch for both boys, which has to be done in a somewhat timely manner so that "J" can lay down for nap on time. Feed son while "J" feeds himself, unless he's having his occasional "feed me too!" day, in which I feed both boys with both hands at the same time. This, my friends, takes much talent. Then play with boys for a bit until "J" is ready for nap. Spend time with son until his naptime. This naptime is my key clean-up/organize time. I usually sweep, dust, mop,wipe down, do what I can to jump-start dinner, and about once a week, rest for five minutes, then son is awake. Play some more until "J" wakes up, set up some type of craft/coloring for "J" while I heat up son's dinner. Feed son while also making such "J"s things are gathered up for going home, and getting toys and books picked up, and saying goodbye to "J" for the day. Husband usually gets home, we slowly make our way back upstairs, husband does bath, I do bible story/bedtime. Then downstairs to make dinner, clean-up from the day, do dishes, and finally sit down to rest at 8 o'clock while I watch our evening shows with my husband before finally crashing into the bed that I have been dreaming about since noon.
Yes, I know that was probably annoying to read, and you probably only read two sentences, gave up, and skipped to here. I don't blame you at all. My days are full of odd and very uninteresting things. But despite me thinking that I do nothing, seeing it written out makes me realize that my day is full. I may not have a corporate job, or a full agenda, but my to-do list is massive everyday. Sprinkle in the occasional doctor's visit, trying to plan breakfast/lunch with friends, grocery shopping, and laundry, and let's just say there is a reason why I don't have time to go jogging on the trail. I think if I wore a pedometer during the day, I would be moving more in my day than I ever would jogging on the trail. Being a mom is a weight-loss plan in itself! So next time I feel like I haven't been rolling up my sleeves and eagerly taking on my day, I'll just sit down and read this blog and remind myself that just because I haven't accomplished the things that some people do in a day to check off in their handy little planners for work, I am still an accomplishment! I am embracing the role that God has set before me, and doing my best in everything that I can. Just because I have on sweats and no makeup doesn't mean I am lazy... It just means I'm too busy to worry it. And what is the sense in putting on nice clothes so that they can get smothered in markers/paint/snot/food everyday?!?
Next week, I will be combining two verses again, and will be studying on Proverbs 31:18,19, "She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking."
Blessings,
Trish
Monday, October 8, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Planting the Seed
Oh, Proverbs 31 woman... You have done it again, you overachiever! This week, according to Proverbs 31:16, "She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden." Well, I can't even begin to do that one. I live in a townhouse with no land that I can plant on, and unless I want to buy a few acres of land in the middle of nowhere, there will be no planting for me in this college town! I didn't spend this week thinking too literally on this one, as it is just not feasible for me to do this. But that doesn't mean there isn't anything to get from my studying.
Two of the main reasons someone plants a garden are to save money by growing their own food, and to have healthy, organic produce that you know is suitable for eating. While I can't plant a garden at this time (though I would love to in the future,) I can do these two things in other ways. When I plan out our weekly menu, I work my hardest to use what I have at home instead of spending $100+ every week at the grocery store. I buy in bulk and freeze. I coupon clip. I pay attention to sale flyers. Even if you are only saving a dollar more than usual, it is still a dollar, and that adds up! I shop at a few different stores, depending on their sales, but Kroger is my go-to market. We have a Kroger Plus Card to save a bit extra, and to apply our savings to gas each month. When you checkout using your Plus Card, at the bottom of your receipt, it tells you how much you saved that trip, as well as for the year. I love looking at that number every week and seeing it climb! Sure, planting a garden would probably save me more, but for now, Plus Cards and coupons are the way to go.
I also try to get healthy food for my family. Eating fatty, greasy food isn't good for your body, so why keep putting it in there!? We eat out once a week, but still try to make the healthiest choices possible when we do. Eating healthy can add up, so the coupons and Plus Cards are a MUST for our family!
No, I am not going to sit here and bore you with all of the ways I save money, and how I shop, and what we eat... I feel that there is an underlying message in this verse. The Proverbs 31 woman is the example of the God-fearing woman. The perfect wife/mother. While she cooks, and cleans, and does everything perfectly, she is also living out a testimony. As Christians, we are called to share the Good News with others. Why should we keep something so wonderful and life-changing to ourselves? I feel that the Proverbs 31 woman ministered in such a way that she not only planted a garden, but she planted a seed... That seed that we are all called to plant in others' hearts. By living out her life in a way that supported her family and, ultimately, glorified God, she shared the gospel with others. She was a living testimony to her family, showing them compassion, love, and tender care every day of her life. But she is also a testimony to all of us that hear her story!
Just look at me, for example. In hearing the Proverbs 31 woman's story, I decided to dig deeper. To explore what it is to be a God-fearing woman. The last few weeks of studying through Proverbs 31:10-31 have been eye-opening to me. I have learned things about myself and about God that I could have never discovered without that little nudge from those twenty-one verses. My hope is that I, too, can plant a seed in the heart of someone else because of my journey in life. The hardest part about sharing the gospel with someone is being open. Sometimes you have to be more transparent than you are comfortable with, but no one is perfect, so why do we as Christians feel the need to act like we are? When we act perfect, it can make us seem better than others, and that can push people away so much more than we ever realize sometimes.
I am not perfect. I fail every single day. I sin. I disappoint God, my family, my friends. But I strive to be my best and to glorify God in all that I do. I will make many mistakes in my life, but I will always have God beside me showing me the way to do it right next time as long as I am listening and communicating with Him. Too often we try to live our lives with only our "heart" as our guide, completely dismissing what God is trying to show us. Every morning, I start my day by praying that God would allow me to glorify Him to the best of my abilities, that He would guide me through my day, and that I may make a positive impact on this world in some way before I lay my head down to rest again that night. One of the hardest parts about planting that seed in others is not only the fact that you don't always know when you do it, but you also don't always see the growth as a result of that seed. I pray that you don't become discouraged because of not seeing the seeds you have planted in others' hearts. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there! Sometimes those seeds need some watering from the hearts and testimonies of others. The best you can do is pray that your life would show others how much you love God, and how you desire to glorify Him with all that you are. Strive to be your best in everything, and to fulfill God's will for your life, even though you get lost on occasion.
Next week, I'll be blogging on Proverbs 31:17, "First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started." Push to do your best this week, and to be a testimony to someone else that just might need to see God through you!
Blessings,
Trish
Two of the main reasons someone plants a garden are to save money by growing their own food, and to have healthy, organic produce that you know is suitable for eating. While I can't plant a garden at this time (though I would love to in the future,) I can do these two things in other ways. When I plan out our weekly menu, I work my hardest to use what I have at home instead of spending $100+ every week at the grocery store. I buy in bulk and freeze. I coupon clip. I pay attention to sale flyers. Even if you are only saving a dollar more than usual, it is still a dollar, and that adds up! I shop at a few different stores, depending on their sales, but Kroger is my go-to market. We have a Kroger Plus Card to save a bit extra, and to apply our savings to gas each month. When you checkout using your Plus Card, at the bottom of your receipt, it tells you how much you saved that trip, as well as for the year. I love looking at that number every week and seeing it climb! Sure, planting a garden would probably save me more, but for now, Plus Cards and coupons are the way to go.
I also try to get healthy food for my family. Eating fatty, greasy food isn't good for your body, so why keep putting it in there!? We eat out once a week, but still try to make the healthiest choices possible when we do. Eating healthy can add up, so the coupons and Plus Cards are a MUST for our family!
No, I am not going to sit here and bore you with all of the ways I save money, and how I shop, and what we eat... I feel that there is an underlying message in this verse. The Proverbs 31 woman is the example of the God-fearing woman. The perfect wife/mother. While she cooks, and cleans, and does everything perfectly, she is also living out a testimony. As Christians, we are called to share the Good News with others. Why should we keep something so wonderful and life-changing to ourselves? I feel that the Proverbs 31 woman ministered in such a way that she not only planted a garden, but she planted a seed... That seed that we are all called to plant in others' hearts. By living out her life in a way that supported her family and, ultimately, glorified God, she shared the gospel with others. She was a living testimony to her family, showing them compassion, love, and tender care every day of her life. But she is also a testimony to all of us that hear her story!
Just look at me, for example. In hearing the Proverbs 31 woman's story, I decided to dig deeper. To explore what it is to be a God-fearing woman. The last few weeks of studying through Proverbs 31:10-31 have been eye-opening to me. I have learned things about myself and about God that I could have never discovered without that little nudge from those twenty-one verses. My hope is that I, too, can plant a seed in the heart of someone else because of my journey in life. The hardest part about sharing the gospel with someone is being open. Sometimes you have to be more transparent than you are comfortable with, but no one is perfect, so why do we as Christians feel the need to act like we are? When we act perfect, it can make us seem better than others, and that can push people away so much more than we ever realize sometimes.
I am not perfect. I fail every single day. I sin. I disappoint God, my family, my friends. But I strive to be my best and to glorify God in all that I do. I will make many mistakes in my life, but I will always have God beside me showing me the way to do it right next time as long as I am listening and communicating with Him. Too often we try to live our lives with only our "heart" as our guide, completely dismissing what God is trying to show us. Every morning, I start my day by praying that God would allow me to glorify Him to the best of my abilities, that He would guide me through my day, and that I may make a positive impact on this world in some way before I lay my head down to rest again that night. One of the hardest parts about planting that seed in others is not only the fact that you don't always know when you do it, but you also don't always see the growth as a result of that seed. I pray that you don't become discouraged because of not seeing the seeds you have planted in others' hearts. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there! Sometimes those seeds need some watering from the hearts and testimonies of others. The best you can do is pray that your life would show others how much you love God, and how you desire to glorify Him with all that you are. Strive to be your best in everything, and to fulfill God's will for your life, even though you get lost on occasion.
Next week, I'll be blogging on Proverbs 31:17, "First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started." Push to do your best this week, and to be a testimony to someone else that just might need to see God through you!
Blessings,
Trish
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
The Early Bird Gets The... Grumpies??
The sunrise is one thing that I seldom see, unless it is because it coincides with a feeding for my ten month old son. I will admit that I am not a morning person AT ALL! So this verse has been a bit more difficult for me to try to "conquer" this week. Proverbs 31:15 says, "She is up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day." I just don't think I can tackle the "up before dawn" part of this one. My son is exactly like my husband and I... He likes to sleep. He goes to bed at 7:15pm, usually wakes around 5:30am for a quick feeding, then he passes back out until 8:00am. Sure, I could stay up after I feed him, and accomplish a lot more, but the sun isn't even up yet! So, I stumble back to bed half asleep anyway (after slurring my words through "Jesus Loves Me," his current favorite,) and wait until later to begin my day. This past week, I tried to be up before everyone else in my family a few times. Let me just tell you how that went...
It didn't. Not one day did I wake up early. I thought about it today, but when my husband reminded me that I need sleep (which is true,) I went right back upstairs until my son woke me up by laughing over the monitor at 8:30am. But, even though I didn't wake up at what I think is just a crazy hour, I did accomplish a lot this week! I work as a nanny from my home, but I don't start until around noon everyday. So while I am not waking up before dawn, I am still getting about four hours before work everyday to cross some things off my list. My son and the child I nanny both nap at 2:00pm, so I get a good hour at least in the afternoon to myself as well. While I don't wake up before the sun and get things done, I am becoming a master of time management during the rest of the day, and have learned how to distract an almost one year old with random things like ladles and oven mitts!
I truly believe that some people just aren't made to be awake early. I'm sure if I adjusted my bedtime enough, I could be a morning person. I used to be one when I worked at 5:30am most days with my previous job. But those days are long gone. I now struggle to calm my mind down at night, which is busy thinking of all that needs done the next day and wondering why time is flying by so fast, and typically don't fall asleep for a while once my head hits the pillow. So adjusting my bedtime hasn't worked well in the past. So, I became a list person. Every morning, I make a list of all that I want to accomplish in my day. I also keep a running list in my "Mommy Planner" of things that need done around the house so that I can check off as I have time to do them in the week. The satisfaction that I feel when I cross something of the list is probably borderline ridiculous. In fact, some days I write things down that I have already completed that morning just so that I can cross them off. I know that I am a nerd. No need to remind me!
I have begun keeping a binder with all of our "home" things in it for both my husband and I to have easy access to all of our important items. We follow our financial accounts in it, have a bill calendar, a gift register for Christmas, reminders of what has/hasn't been paid for the month. I am in the process of typing up my cleaning schedule to add to it, as well as some bulk meal plans. I plan out all of our meals for the week on Saturday, including my son's babyfood schedule. Some people may think that it's dorky or over-organized, but it keeps me feeling prepared and ready to worry about other things in my day, like spending time giggling with my son, and enjoying the evening with my husband. Our binder has not only helped me keep more organized, but I have found that it has lifted a large burden off of me being able to, at a glance, know what bills need paid and how much money we have. (I HIGHLY recommend making a home-management binder. If you need an outline for organizing one, feel free to email me for more information!)
No, I don't wake up before my husband and make him breakfast everyday. But I am always sure that there is a plethora of things for him to consume in the morning. I keep my day organized despite waking up a few hours after the sun, and I think that's good enough. Sometimes the Proverbs 31 woman will outdo me, and you know what... That's okay! Because I am always giving my best to my family, and providing for them every way I can. And if you would have met me five years ago, you would be amazingly surprised that I am the same person. I've come a long way from shopping at Kroger once a day so that I could have dinner and keeping my home as messy as possible. I'm honestly surprised myself as I sit here and think about it. It's crazy how maintaining a steady relationship with Christ can mold you into a better person without you even realizing it. I'm thankful for the things He has done in my life, and I can't wait to see what else He has planned!
I am studying Proverbs 31:16 for next week: "She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden." Considering the fact that I live in an apartment/townhouse complex with a 2'x2' flowerbed area, I will not be planting a garden this week, nor will I be buying a field. But I will have some interesting things to ponder on, so I can't wait for next week! Have a great week, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect...
Blessings,
Trish
It didn't. Not one day did I wake up early. I thought about it today, but when my husband reminded me that I need sleep (which is true,) I went right back upstairs until my son woke me up by laughing over the monitor at 8:30am. But, even though I didn't wake up at what I think is just a crazy hour, I did accomplish a lot this week! I work as a nanny from my home, but I don't start until around noon everyday. So while I am not waking up before dawn, I am still getting about four hours before work everyday to cross some things off my list. My son and the child I nanny both nap at 2:00pm, so I get a good hour at least in the afternoon to myself as well. While I don't wake up before the sun and get things done, I am becoming a master of time management during the rest of the day, and have learned how to distract an almost one year old with random things like ladles and oven mitts!
I truly believe that some people just aren't made to be awake early. I'm sure if I adjusted my bedtime enough, I could be a morning person. I used to be one when I worked at 5:30am most days with my previous job. But those days are long gone. I now struggle to calm my mind down at night, which is busy thinking of all that needs done the next day and wondering why time is flying by so fast, and typically don't fall asleep for a while once my head hits the pillow. So adjusting my bedtime hasn't worked well in the past. So, I became a list person. Every morning, I make a list of all that I want to accomplish in my day. I also keep a running list in my "Mommy Planner" of things that need done around the house so that I can check off as I have time to do them in the week. The satisfaction that I feel when I cross something of the list is probably borderline ridiculous. In fact, some days I write things down that I have already completed that morning just so that I can cross them off. I know that I am a nerd. No need to remind me!
I have begun keeping a binder with all of our "home" things in it for both my husband and I to have easy access to all of our important items. We follow our financial accounts in it, have a bill calendar, a gift register for Christmas, reminders of what has/hasn't been paid for the month. I am in the process of typing up my cleaning schedule to add to it, as well as some bulk meal plans. I plan out all of our meals for the week on Saturday, including my son's babyfood schedule. Some people may think that it's dorky or over-organized, but it keeps me feeling prepared and ready to worry about other things in my day, like spending time giggling with my son, and enjoying the evening with my husband. Our binder has not only helped me keep more organized, but I have found that it has lifted a large burden off of me being able to, at a glance, know what bills need paid and how much money we have. (I HIGHLY recommend making a home-management binder. If you need an outline for organizing one, feel free to email me for more information!)
No, I don't wake up before my husband and make him breakfast everyday. But I am always sure that there is a plethora of things for him to consume in the morning. I keep my day organized despite waking up a few hours after the sun, and I think that's good enough. Sometimes the Proverbs 31 woman will outdo me, and you know what... That's okay! Because I am always giving my best to my family, and providing for them every way I can. And if you would have met me five years ago, you would be amazingly surprised that I am the same person. I've come a long way from shopping at Kroger once a day so that I could have dinner and keeping my home as messy as possible. I'm honestly surprised myself as I sit here and think about it. It's crazy how maintaining a steady relationship with Christ can mold you into a better person without you even realizing it. I'm thankful for the things He has done in my life, and I can't wait to see what else He has planned!
I am studying Proverbs 31:16 for next week: "She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden." Considering the fact that I live in an apartment/townhouse complex with a 2'x2' flowerbed area, I will not be planting a garden this week, nor will I be buying a field. But I will have some interesting things to ponder on, so I can't wait for next week! Have a great week, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect...
Blessings,
Trish
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Crafty Cooking Momma
First off, I apologize for not having the post up on Monday like usual. I have been fighting a bad sinus infection and have been resting every chance I get. Thankfully, I woke up today feeling semi-normal, so I am finally updating!
This week, I studied on Proverbs 31:13,14, "She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises." (MSG) Okay, this woman is already seeming like an overachiever, right? Not only does she care for herself, her husband, and her children, but she knits and sews too?! I love to knit, but with everything else going on in my day, there is just not time left for it. I equate these skills to craftiness... Some of us have it, and some of us just don't. I have received a bit of craftiness in my little box of skills, and I try to use it to the best of my ability. So here is what I got from this verse: Maybe you're crafty. Maybe you're not. But are you using the skills that you possess to do good for your household? Some people are "crazy crafters" and can do just about anything. But is that really helpful to your family? Sure, you can make a gazillion candles and wreaths, but is that productive? I think there is a fine line when it comes to craftiness. Doing things that enhance your home and make it more welcoming is wonderful. But sometimes the little crafts that we do can add up to be a big burden. Did I really need to buy over $100 worth of jewelry making items a couple years ago just to make a few things?... No, I didn't. It wasn't a good use of our money or my time. (But thankfully, I sold all of the leftovers at a yardsale for $30, so at least I got something out of it!) Craftiness can be a wonderful thing, but can be a hindrance as well. If you are not managing your money and time well while also using the skills you have been given, then it really isn't worth it to have fifteen different wreaths to hang on your door.
While I'm on the crafty side of the discussion, what about the website that has taken the world by storm in the last few months... Ahhh, Pinterest. Full of amazing ideas to make your home more beautiful, recipes to try, workouts to do, activities to do with your children. It seems like such a wonderful site to help you get even more crafty. How many things have you pinned that you have actually done? I spend a lot of time on Pinterest when my son is napping and I have nothing else to do. Lately, I have been asking myself before I pin something, "Am I really going to try this, or is it just something else pretty to look at?" So, on my Pinterest boards, I made a "Tried It!" board to keep up with the things that I actually do. I was honestly surprised by how much I had done, and because of my goal to be able to review everything in my "Tried It!" board, I haven't been pinning random ideas that will never cross my mind again. While it is a great resource at times, Pinterest can take a lot of your time (and provide you with more ways to waste money) just like any other social media website, so my tip is to be sure to not spend so much time on it that you don't have time to actually do things.
The English Standard Version says she "works with willing hands." (vs13) For those of us who were not given the "crafty" gene, are we willing to do work to help our household? Sometimes I would rather go spend $15 to just buy another pair of pants because the button popped off mine. But, when I have a full sewing kit, and a couple minutes to spare, it makes so much more sense to just mend the broken ones than to waste the money to buy something else. In the Proverbs 31 woman's day, you made your own clothes and linens. There aren't many women that do that now, but we are given the resources to find clothing at a price that fits within our budget, and we can care for the things that we have in a way to make them last as long as they need to, and to repair them if necessary. We just have to be willing to put forth the extra effort to be good stewards of what we have been given.
Okay, but what about how the Proverbs 31 woman "sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises?" Sure, I'd love to sail somewhere exotic and bring back new things for my family to try, but money and time don't allow for that. However, I am sure that her family didn't eat McDonald's and pizza every night of the week. They tried new things, experienced different cultures, and enjoyed it! So, while I can't sail off across the sea and bring back some new food to try, I can vary the things my family eats and experiences. I love to try new recipes and new cooking methods. Walk through your local grocery store and find a fruit or vegetable that you have never even heard of before. Then go home, find a recipe that includes it, and try it! Something one of the best things about providing meals for your family is having the freedom to try new things. The McDonald's menu never changes, but your menu at home can be different every day! I've recently discovered quinoa, and found some recipes that sound amazing that I can't wait to try out on my family. My 10 month old has already tried it a few times and loves it, so I'm sure it's good.
In summary, you may not be able to knit or sew, or pick your own exotic fruits and vegetables, but we have so many resources available to us that allow us to better our households and family without doing those things, so learn to take advantage of them. Make a new meal this week for your family that not only looks delicious, but is healthy as well. Take steps to care better for the things you already have instead of going out and buying new things. Luke 12:48 says, "...Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." If you have been given much, then God trusts that you will care for it. Show him that you truly deserve and are thankful for everything that He has entrusted you with!
Next Monday, I will be posting on my study for this week, Proverbs 31:15, "She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day." Have a blessed week!
Blessing,
Trish
This week, I studied on Proverbs 31:13,14, "She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises." (MSG) Okay, this woman is already seeming like an overachiever, right? Not only does she care for herself, her husband, and her children, but she knits and sews too?! I love to knit, but with everything else going on in my day, there is just not time left for it. I equate these skills to craftiness... Some of us have it, and some of us just don't. I have received a bit of craftiness in my little box of skills, and I try to use it to the best of my ability. So here is what I got from this verse: Maybe you're crafty. Maybe you're not. But are you using the skills that you possess to do good for your household? Some people are "crazy crafters" and can do just about anything. But is that really helpful to your family? Sure, you can make a gazillion candles and wreaths, but is that productive? I think there is a fine line when it comes to craftiness. Doing things that enhance your home and make it more welcoming is wonderful. But sometimes the little crafts that we do can add up to be a big burden. Did I really need to buy over $100 worth of jewelry making items a couple years ago just to make a few things?... No, I didn't. It wasn't a good use of our money or my time. (But thankfully, I sold all of the leftovers at a yardsale for $30, so at least I got something out of it!) Craftiness can be a wonderful thing, but can be a hindrance as well. If you are not managing your money and time well while also using the skills you have been given, then it really isn't worth it to have fifteen different wreaths to hang on your door.
While I'm on the crafty side of the discussion, what about the website that has taken the world by storm in the last few months... Ahhh, Pinterest. Full of amazing ideas to make your home more beautiful, recipes to try, workouts to do, activities to do with your children. It seems like such a wonderful site to help you get even more crafty. How many things have you pinned that you have actually done? I spend a lot of time on Pinterest when my son is napping and I have nothing else to do. Lately, I have been asking myself before I pin something, "Am I really going to try this, or is it just something else pretty to look at?" So, on my Pinterest boards, I made a "Tried It!" board to keep up with the things that I actually do. I was honestly surprised by how much I had done, and because of my goal to be able to review everything in my "Tried It!" board, I haven't been pinning random ideas that will never cross my mind again. While it is a great resource at times, Pinterest can take a lot of your time (and provide you with more ways to waste money) just like any other social media website, so my tip is to be sure to not spend so much time on it that you don't have time to actually do things.
The English Standard Version says she "works with willing hands." (vs13) For those of us who were not given the "crafty" gene, are we willing to do work to help our household? Sometimes I would rather go spend $15 to just buy another pair of pants because the button popped off mine. But, when I have a full sewing kit, and a couple minutes to spare, it makes so much more sense to just mend the broken ones than to waste the money to buy something else. In the Proverbs 31 woman's day, you made your own clothes and linens. There aren't many women that do that now, but we are given the resources to find clothing at a price that fits within our budget, and we can care for the things that we have in a way to make them last as long as they need to, and to repair them if necessary. We just have to be willing to put forth the extra effort to be good stewards of what we have been given.
Okay, but what about how the Proverbs 31 woman "sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises?" Sure, I'd love to sail somewhere exotic and bring back new things for my family to try, but money and time don't allow for that. However, I am sure that her family didn't eat McDonald's and pizza every night of the week. They tried new things, experienced different cultures, and enjoyed it! So, while I can't sail off across the sea and bring back some new food to try, I can vary the things my family eats and experiences. I love to try new recipes and new cooking methods. Walk through your local grocery store and find a fruit or vegetable that you have never even heard of before. Then go home, find a recipe that includes it, and try it! Something one of the best things about providing meals for your family is having the freedom to try new things. The McDonald's menu never changes, but your menu at home can be different every day! I've recently discovered quinoa, and found some recipes that sound amazing that I can't wait to try out on my family. My 10 month old has already tried it a few times and loves it, so I'm sure it's good.
In summary, you may not be able to knit or sew, or pick your own exotic fruits and vegetables, but we have so many resources available to us that allow us to better our households and family without doing those things, so learn to take advantage of them. Make a new meal this week for your family that not only looks delicious, but is healthy as well. Take steps to care better for the things you already have instead of going out and buying new things. Luke 12:48 says, "...Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." If you have been given much, then God trusts that you will care for it. Show him that you truly deserve and are thankful for everything that He has entrusted you with!
Next Monday, I will be posting on my study for this week, Proverbs 31:15, "She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day." Have a blessed week!
Blessing,
Trish
Monday, September 10, 2012
Doing Good; Not Harm
This week, I studied on Proverbs 31:12, "Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long." (MSG) Another version (ESV) says, "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life." How often are we doing harm to our husbands? When you have this permanent roommate who sometimes doesn't pick up his socks, or forgets to tell you the house looks great or dinner was delicious, it is easy to lash out and say things without thinking. Even the smallest snide comment is verbal abuse. James warns us about how deadly our tongue can truly be. "For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God." (James 3:7-9 ESV) Our tongue can get us into so much trouble!
I know that this is something I have struggled with the past few years. When something displeases me, I typically keep quiet. But if it happens multiple times, it just builds up and eventually I just burst open and who-knows-what comes out of my mouth! God threw that back in my face a few months ago when I realized that the "tone" that I had complained to my husband about noticing him use at times had begun to become my tone as well. In the process of suppressing my feelings, I had taken on the very trait that had upset me in the first place. Since the day God showed me my mistake, I have begun to think more often before I speak. I have learned that sometimes a comment isn't needed, no matter how frustrated I can be. And I have learned that there is always a time for discussion when you are upset with your spouse and something needs to be addressed, but that moment is rarely the second that you become upset. Walking away and praying is by far the most successful way to approach a situation where you need to learn to tame your tongue.
Don't get me wrong... Walking away can be so hard at times. When you know you're right, and you can't stand feeling wrong, all you want to do is remedy the situation right in that moment. But when you address things in anger, is it really edifying to your relationship? Does it ever resolve anything? Or does it just make you both angrier and cause an even bigger problem? I'm sure you know the answer to that one... Stephen and Alex Kendrick summarized it well in their book, The Love Dare. "For the most part, the etiquette you use at home is much different than the kind you employ with friends, or even total strangers. You may be barking or pouting around the house, but if the front door chimes, you open it all smiling and kind. Yet if you dare to love, you'll also want to give your best to your own. If you don't let love motivate you to make needed changes in your behavior, the quality of your marriage relationship will suffer for it." Ouch, right?
As women, we don't only have trouble taming our tongues at home. Our flesh naturally tends towards being "gossipy." Put a gaggle of ladies together and oh my, the things you will hear. But we need to treat our husbands generously even when they aren't around! It is sinful to portray our husbands as mean, incompetent, antagonizing men just because we are in a group of ladies who also have permanent roommates that don't pick up their own socks. Our speech is one of the most telling things about our relationship with Christ. One who is developing a deep, personal relationship with Him is not also slandering those whom she has professed to love in front of God. Mark A. Kassian says in Girls Gone Wise, "Cultivating godly speech is one of the biggest challenges for women today. Pop culture encourages us to sin with our speech. It encourages us to talk lots and loudly, to speak up and make ourselves heard, to gain favor with flattery, to be cunning, to manipulate, to be brazen, and to demand that others give us what we want. But the Bible says that excessive, duplicitous, and manipulative speech only leads to strife, iniquity, ruin, and trouble (Psalm 55:9-11). God's way is very different from the world's way and, paradoxically, much more effective."
How do you speak to your husband, how do you speak about your husband, and how do those two types of speech differ? Perhaps some of the problems we feel we are experiencing in our marriage could be remedied by simply taming our tongues...
While you think on that post for the next week, I'll be studying up on the next two verses. I've chosen to combine Proverbs 31:13,14, "She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises." Have a great week, and thanks for checking in on this awesome, and convicting, journey so far!
Blessing,
Tricia
I know that this is something I have struggled with the past few years. When something displeases me, I typically keep quiet. But if it happens multiple times, it just builds up and eventually I just burst open and who-knows-what comes out of my mouth! God threw that back in my face a few months ago when I realized that the "tone" that I had complained to my husband about noticing him use at times had begun to become my tone as well. In the process of suppressing my feelings, I had taken on the very trait that had upset me in the first place. Since the day God showed me my mistake, I have begun to think more often before I speak. I have learned that sometimes a comment isn't needed, no matter how frustrated I can be. And I have learned that there is always a time for discussion when you are upset with your spouse and something needs to be addressed, but that moment is rarely the second that you become upset. Walking away and praying is by far the most successful way to approach a situation where you need to learn to tame your tongue.
Don't get me wrong... Walking away can be so hard at times. When you know you're right, and you can't stand feeling wrong, all you want to do is remedy the situation right in that moment. But when you address things in anger, is it really edifying to your relationship? Does it ever resolve anything? Or does it just make you both angrier and cause an even bigger problem? I'm sure you know the answer to that one... Stephen and Alex Kendrick summarized it well in their book, The Love Dare. "For the most part, the etiquette you use at home is much different than the kind you employ with friends, or even total strangers. You may be barking or pouting around the house, but if the front door chimes, you open it all smiling and kind. Yet if you dare to love, you'll also want to give your best to your own. If you don't let love motivate you to make needed changes in your behavior, the quality of your marriage relationship will suffer for it." Ouch, right?
As women, we don't only have trouble taming our tongues at home. Our flesh naturally tends towards being "gossipy." Put a gaggle of ladies together and oh my, the things you will hear. But we need to treat our husbands generously even when they aren't around! It is sinful to portray our husbands as mean, incompetent, antagonizing men just because we are in a group of ladies who also have permanent roommates that don't pick up their own socks. Our speech is one of the most telling things about our relationship with Christ. One who is developing a deep, personal relationship with Him is not also slandering those whom she has professed to love in front of God. Mark A. Kassian says in Girls Gone Wise, "Cultivating godly speech is one of the biggest challenges for women today. Pop culture encourages us to sin with our speech. It encourages us to talk lots and loudly, to speak up and make ourselves heard, to gain favor with flattery, to be cunning, to manipulate, to be brazen, and to demand that others give us what we want. But the Bible says that excessive, duplicitous, and manipulative speech only leads to strife, iniquity, ruin, and trouble (Psalm 55:9-11). God's way is very different from the world's way and, paradoxically, much more effective."
How do you speak to your husband, how do you speak about your husband, and how do those two types of speech differ? Perhaps some of the problems we feel we are experiencing in our marriage could be remedied by simply taming our tongues...
While you think on that post for the next week, I'll be studying up on the next two verses. I've chosen to combine Proverbs 31:13,14, "She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises." Have a great week, and thanks for checking in on this awesome, and convicting, journey so far!
Blessing,
Tricia
Monday, September 3, 2012
Trusting Without Reserve
Week two of my studying focused on Proverbs 31:11, "Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it." (MSG) My mind, of course, automatically jumped to the type of marital trust that I am sure yours did also... Fidelity. In our generation, that's the type of trust you hear about most, and sadly, that's because it is uncommon.
Proverbs 7:10-23 (ESV) describes a woman who is "...wily of heart. She is loud and wayward..." (vs 10, 11) She breaks her husband's trust by eagerly seducing a man while her husband is away. Her speech, her appearance, and her home are all molded in a way to lure a man in as you "lead an ox to slaughter" (vs 22) and "he does not know it will cost him his life." (vs 23) This woman has had no intention of being faithful to her husband, and has no regard for his trust. Too often we hear about women who are exactly like the Proverbs 7 woman! Our society is full of people who are of the "gimme gimme" mindset, only seeking their own happiness and not regarding others.
Mary A. Kassian writes in her book, "Girls Gone Wise," "Faithlessness destroys unity. This is the case in all interpersonal relationships, but especially in marriage. Malachi says that those who fail to faithfully love a covenant partner 'cover their garments in violence.' (Malachi 2:16) They tear apart what God has joined." Your actions have so many consequences. They affect everyone around you, but especially your relationship with God!
Kassian states earlier in her book that, "Marriage is much more than a human covenant. It's a covenant with God. When a woman breaks faith with her husband, she doesn't just sin against her husband, she also sins against God and... against the entire covenant of believers." A covenant is a mutual agreement... a framework of trust, responsibilities, and benefits. If you are like me, you're thinking, "Okay... This all makes sense. I vowed to be faithful to my husband, and I have been. I've never been tempted to stray or cheat, so I've got this verse down! On to next week!" I'd encourage you to not think so quickly on this. Sure, I have never cheated on my husband, and have honestly never thought about it either. But trust is so much more than fidelity!
I'm a work-from-home mother. I cook, clean, pay bills, organize, care for our son, make sure everything is in order for our week, and also watch a toddler four days a week. My husband does not only trust me not to break fidelity with him, but also to continue to cook, clean, pay bills, organize, care for our son, make sure everything is in order, and watch a toddler four days a week. I assume the responsibility to pay our bills because one of my strengths is keeping track of our calendar, and therefore, when things are due. My husband handles the money, and I just write the checks and mail them. When we get behind on a bill for the month because I simply forget to pay it, and we have to assume the ridiculous $35.00 late fee on a $12.19 bill, I'm breaking trust. I've been trusted to write that check, and I haven't.
So I keep organized. I make sure I know what we are having for dinner weeks at a time. I keep our home tidy for the occasional drop-by visitor and our weekly community groups, and so that my nights are not consumed with "speed cleaning" and rather with an occasional clean-up. I care for our son as well as I am humanly able and help to teach him about God's goodness. Not because that's what a stereotypical "housewife" does... Because I want my husband to trust me without reserve, and to never have reason to regret it! And because when I honor that covenant with my husband to care for our family and home, I am also honoring God. Luke 16:10 says "One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much." (ESV) I want to be faithful in those little things that may not seem to matter to everyone else. Trust is like most traits... It must be built. How can you be trusted to be faithful in the large things when you can't even be trusted to provide your family with food and proper care?
When I first read this week's verse, I didn't realize it would convict me as much as it has. It's funny how when you dig deep, you find things you would have never expected!
Next week will be focused on Proverbs 31:12, "Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long."
Also, as a side note, I've decided Sundays are too hectic to do my postings, so I will be updating on Mondays from now on. So... See you all next Monday!
Blessings,
Trish
Proverbs 7:10-23 (ESV) describes a woman who is "...wily of heart. She is loud and wayward..." (vs 10, 11) She breaks her husband's trust by eagerly seducing a man while her husband is away. Her speech, her appearance, and her home are all molded in a way to lure a man in as you "lead an ox to slaughter" (vs 22) and "he does not know it will cost him his life." (vs 23) This woman has had no intention of being faithful to her husband, and has no regard for his trust. Too often we hear about women who are exactly like the Proverbs 7 woman! Our society is full of people who are of the "gimme gimme" mindset, only seeking their own happiness and not regarding others.
Mary A. Kassian writes in her book, "Girls Gone Wise," "Faithlessness destroys unity. This is the case in all interpersonal relationships, but especially in marriage. Malachi says that those who fail to faithfully love a covenant partner 'cover their garments in violence.' (Malachi 2:16) They tear apart what God has joined." Your actions have so many consequences. They affect everyone around you, but especially your relationship with God!
Kassian states earlier in her book that, "Marriage is much more than a human covenant. It's a covenant with God. When a woman breaks faith with her husband, she doesn't just sin against her husband, she also sins against God and... against the entire covenant of believers." A covenant is a mutual agreement... a framework of trust, responsibilities, and benefits. If you are like me, you're thinking, "Okay... This all makes sense. I vowed to be faithful to my husband, and I have been. I've never been tempted to stray or cheat, so I've got this verse down! On to next week!" I'd encourage you to not think so quickly on this. Sure, I have never cheated on my husband, and have honestly never thought about it either. But trust is so much more than fidelity!
I'm a work-from-home mother. I cook, clean, pay bills, organize, care for our son, make sure everything is in order for our week, and also watch a toddler four days a week. My husband does not only trust me not to break fidelity with him, but also to continue to cook, clean, pay bills, organize, care for our son, make sure everything is in order, and watch a toddler four days a week. I assume the responsibility to pay our bills because one of my strengths is keeping track of our calendar, and therefore, when things are due. My husband handles the money, and I just write the checks and mail them. When we get behind on a bill for the month because I simply forget to pay it, and we have to assume the ridiculous $35.00 late fee on a $12.19 bill, I'm breaking trust. I've been trusted to write that check, and I haven't.
So I keep organized. I make sure I know what we are having for dinner weeks at a time. I keep our home tidy for the occasional drop-by visitor and our weekly community groups, and so that my nights are not consumed with "speed cleaning" and rather with an occasional clean-up. I care for our son as well as I am humanly able and help to teach him about God's goodness. Not because that's what a stereotypical "housewife" does... Because I want my husband to trust me without reserve, and to never have reason to regret it! And because when I honor that covenant with my husband to care for our family and home, I am also honoring God. Luke 16:10 says "One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much." (ESV) I want to be faithful in those little things that may not seem to matter to everyone else. Trust is like most traits... It must be built. How can you be trusted to be faithful in the large things when you can't even be trusted to provide your family with food and proper care?
When I first read this week's verse, I didn't realize it would convict me as much as it has. It's funny how when you dig deep, you find things you would have never expected!
Next week will be focused on Proverbs 31:12, "Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long."
Also, as a side note, I've decided Sundays are too hectic to do my postings, so I will be updating on Mondays from now on. So... See you all next Monday!
Blessings,
Trish
Monday, August 27, 2012
An Excellent Wife, Who Can Find?!
Week one of my "adventure" has proved to be a bit rough. Partly because it was an exhausting week in general (which explains why I have already strayed from my "posting on Sundays" idea) and partly because this first verse is rather vague and doesn't seem to hold much to study on within its handful of words. Yet, I did manage to round up a few interesting things in my quiet times this week.
This week I studied on the sum-it-up verse at the beginning (Proverbs 31:10) of the "Hymn to a Good Wife," as The Message version calls it. "A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds." Before studying, I just sat and pondered on the verse for a bit. This could go so many different directions, as there are so many definitions of "a good woman." I live in a college town, so I'm sure many of the guys you asked around here would say a good woman is one who always looks good and can hold her alcohol well. But it you ask the men within the church, I'm sure the expectations would be a bit different. The passage goes on later about the attributes of a good woman, so I won't dwell on that much (considering the next few months will be full of discovering what a "good woman" is.)
The Amplified Bible quotes this first verse as, "A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman -- who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls." I liked this version better because it gives you a bit more to aim for. It also made me question myself... Am I capable? Am I intelligent? Am I virtuous?
I'm capable of a lot of things, and of juggling all of those things simultaneously, so I felt like I had that one covered. I consider myself to be somewhat intelligent. I'm no rocket scientist, but I'm well-read, retain knowledge well, and did well in school, so I figure that's about as intelligent as I can get as of now. But am I virtuous? Virtuous is defined as "conforming to moral and ethical principles; morally excellent; upright." Now, there is something to work on. No matter how virtuous you think you are, there is always room for improvement. We will never be perfect, especially with Christ as our role model. But we are called to pursue perfection and work to be like Him. Ephesians 5:1-2 says, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." I personally know that I do not walk in love as I am called to be doing. Sure, I love my husband, my son, my family, my friends... But I hold grudges. I don't pray for the ones who make me angry. I don't show compassion towards those who need help/love. Sometimes, I don't even show love towards the people that it should be easiest to show it to! But why?
I think a big part of why we withhold love from others at times is our sinful self-centeredness. In an article for Elle magazine in 2011, Heidi Julavits stated, when speaking about why she doesn't enjoy conforming to being a typical "wife," "This is not just me refusing a gender category. This is me refusing heartbreak. I do not caretake because I am taking care. I am taking care of myself. I am being cautious, tentative, and selfish." I find it sad that she pushes away from taking care of her family because of wanting to care more for herself, but I realize that no matter what we say, we ALL do it! It's our selfish flesh coming out and pushing us further from the roles we are in and, ultimately, further from God. When we give in to that instinct to make sure that we are taken care of before we can be bothered to provide for others, that selfishness is winning and growing within us. I'll freely admit that I have a problem with selfishness at times. It doesn't seem fair that I don't get to sleep straight through the night when I'm exhausted or not feeling well. Or that I don't get to sit through an hour long television show without being interrupted. Or that I am lucky to get a shower every-other-day. But that's the role I've chosen. I wanted to be a wife and a mother, and sometimes I forget that those responsibilities don't only last from nine-to-five like most jobs.
Being worn out is a hard thing to overcome sometimes. I go through phases where, after my son is asleep and I should be cleaning up from the tornado that is a very fast crawling/almost walking 9 1/2-month-old, I just want to sit and do absolutely nothing. Not even think. And sometimes I give in and that's exactly what I do until it's time to go to bed. Then I wake up the next morning overwhelmed with everything that has to be done to prepare for the day (after, of course, waking up multiple times at night.) Am I saying that it's wrong to let yourself rest after a long day? Of course not! But there is a time for rest, and a time to get things accomplished. If I know that not cleaning up the kitchen before bed is going to make me wake up frustrated and cause the next day to be bad, then I should probably spend twenty minutes cleaning up the kitchen, and then relax and do nothing.
What about being worth "far more than diamonds?" Salary.com posted an article on what a mom is worth. A stay-at-home mom juggles, on average, 94.7 hours of work a week, broken down into the categories of a CEO, Facilities Manager, Laundry Operator, Computer Operator, Housekeeper, Cook, Daycare Teacher, Van Driver, Janitor, and Psychologist. Based on the base salaries of all of those jobs, they say that a mom is worth $112,962 per year! Man, if only someone saw that and actually paid us that! I don't know diamond prices well (and all of the references I looked up were far too difficult for me to navigate,) but I'd say she's worth far more than diamonds in her lifetime of work! Of course, every wife/mother has different duties they tackle on a daily basis, but it sure made me appreciate my mother a lot more when I became one myself and realized how hard it was to manage it all with just one child when she made it through with four of us.
So in my studying this week, I've realized that I'm not striving to be Christlike nearly as much as I should be. It should be a constant goal! And that my flesh wins many more times than I would like it to. But I also realize that I am human and will never be perfect. All I can do is pursue Christ wholeheartedly, and provide for my family in whatever way I can so that they are able to grow in their relationship with Christ as well. In the end, that's all that's really going to matter.
Next week I'll be studying "Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it." Enjoy a blessed week, and check back in (hopefully!) on Sunday! :)
Blessings,
Trish
This week I studied on the sum-it-up verse at the beginning (Proverbs 31:10) of the "Hymn to a Good Wife," as The Message version calls it. "A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds." Before studying, I just sat and pondered on the verse for a bit. This could go so many different directions, as there are so many definitions of "a good woman." I live in a college town, so I'm sure many of the guys you asked around here would say a good woman is one who always looks good and can hold her alcohol well. But it you ask the men within the church, I'm sure the expectations would be a bit different. The passage goes on later about the attributes of a good woman, so I won't dwell on that much (considering the next few months will be full of discovering what a "good woman" is.)
The Amplified Bible quotes this first verse as, "A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman -- who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls." I liked this version better because it gives you a bit more to aim for. It also made me question myself... Am I capable? Am I intelligent? Am I virtuous?
I'm capable of a lot of things, and of juggling all of those things simultaneously, so I felt like I had that one covered. I consider myself to be somewhat intelligent. I'm no rocket scientist, but I'm well-read, retain knowledge well, and did well in school, so I figure that's about as intelligent as I can get as of now. But am I virtuous? Virtuous is defined as "conforming to moral and ethical principles; morally excellent; upright." Now, there is something to work on. No matter how virtuous you think you are, there is always room for improvement. We will never be perfect, especially with Christ as our role model. But we are called to pursue perfection and work to be like Him. Ephesians 5:1-2 says, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." I personally know that I do not walk in love as I am called to be doing. Sure, I love my husband, my son, my family, my friends... But I hold grudges. I don't pray for the ones who make me angry. I don't show compassion towards those who need help/love. Sometimes, I don't even show love towards the people that it should be easiest to show it to! But why?
I think a big part of why we withhold love from others at times is our sinful self-centeredness. In an article for Elle magazine in 2011, Heidi Julavits stated, when speaking about why she doesn't enjoy conforming to being a typical "wife," "This is not just me refusing a gender category. This is me refusing heartbreak. I do not caretake because I am taking care. I am taking care of myself. I am being cautious, tentative, and selfish." I find it sad that she pushes away from taking care of her family because of wanting to care more for herself, but I realize that no matter what we say, we ALL do it! It's our selfish flesh coming out and pushing us further from the roles we are in and, ultimately, further from God. When we give in to that instinct to make sure that we are taken care of before we can be bothered to provide for others, that selfishness is winning and growing within us. I'll freely admit that I have a problem with selfishness at times. It doesn't seem fair that I don't get to sleep straight through the night when I'm exhausted or not feeling well. Or that I don't get to sit through an hour long television show without being interrupted. Or that I am lucky to get a shower every-other-day. But that's the role I've chosen. I wanted to be a wife and a mother, and sometimes I forget that those responsibilities don't only last from nine-to-five like most jobs.
Being worn out is a hard thing to overcome sometimes. I go through phases where, after my son is asleep and I should be cleaning up from the tornado that is a very fast crawling/almost walking 9 1/2-month-old, I just want to sit and do absolutely nothing. Not even think. And sometimes I give in and that's exactly what I do until it's time to go to bed. Then I wake up the next morning overwhelmed with everything that has to be done to prepare for the day (after, of course, waking up multiple times at night.) Am I saying that it's wrong to let yourself rest after a long day? Of course not! But there is a time for rest, and a time to get things accomplished. If I know that not cleaning up the kitchen before bed is going to make me wake up frustrated and cause the next day to be bad, then I should probably spend twenty minutes cleaning up the kitchen, and then relax and do nothing.
What about being worth "far more than diamonds?" Salary.com posted an article on what a mom is worth. A stay-at-home mom juggles, on average, 94.7 hours of work a week, broken down into the categories of a CEO, Facilities Manager, Laundry Operator, Computer Operator, Housekeeper, Cook, Daycare Teacher, Van Driver, Janitor, and Psychologist. Based on the base salaries of all of those jobs, they say that a mom is worth $112,962 per year! Man, if only someone saw that and actually paid us that! I don't know diamond prices well (and all of the references I looked up were far too difficult for me to navigate,) but I'd say she's worth far more than diamonds in her lifetime of work! Of course, every wife/mother has different duties they tackle on a daily basis, but it sure made me appreciate my mother a lot more when I became one myself and realized how hard it was to manage it all with just one child when she made it through with four of us.
So in my studying this week, I've realized that I'm not striving to be Christlike nearly as much as I should be. It should be a constant goal! And that my flesh wins many more times than I would like it to. But I also realize that I am human and will never be perfect. All I can do is pursue Christ wholeheartedly, and provide for my family in whatever way I can so that they are able to grow in their relationship with Christ as well. In the end, that's all that's really going to matter.
Next week I'll be studying "Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it." Enjoy a blessed week, and check back in (hopefully!) on Sunday! :)
Blessings,
Trish
Monday, August 20, 2012
The Beginning of My Journey
Well... Here goes nothing. Day One of a journey with an unknown ending. I have to admit that I am a bit intimidated by this new venture I am taking on. Anyone that knows me knows that I always have great intentions to begin with, but I'm not the best at following through. So, here's to a new beginning, and (hopefully!) a new me!
I suppose I should tell you a little about myself to start. I'm Trish, a daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother and Christian in my late twenties (who is not quite sure how she feels about placing the word "late" in that sentence.) I'm not anywhere near perfect, as I'm sure you will see in the following weeks/months as I share my journey with you. I'm striving daily to be the best I can be and to praise the Lord through it all with my words AND actions. I love to cook, read, craft, and decorate, but I am also good at being stubborn, frustrated, annoyed, and somewhat-lazy. Hence, my new journey.
As I'm sure many of you know, there is a small 21-verse section of the Bible that describes the perfect woman in God's eyes. And I'm sure that you also know of about a gazillion blogs and books dedicated to this 21-verse section. My hope is that this one may be different from the other gazillion things you have read. That little-ole-me can somehow make an impact based on the things I am learning. I have had a tiny dream in my heart since I was in high school that I have never shared with anyone. I promise... No one, my family included, knows about this dream even as I am typing it right now. In fact, I bet my husband learns this new fact about me right as he is reading this. (Hi, Honey!) I love to write. I have probably started eight-ten books since high school in college-ruled notebooks that are now in a landfill somewhere because I begin them and get frustrated, tossing them into the trash. Such a waste of paper, I know. But now there is this wonderful thing called the internet that allows me to just type and the words appear for you lovely people to read without wasting one tiny smidge of paper (besides the post-its that my notes are on.) So I decided it's time to see if I can actually make this dream a reality. I'm not looking to be published. Or to even be talked about. I'm just looking to make an impact, even if only on one person. To know that I mattered somehow. Because, as I'm sure most of you know, there is always this little ping in our hearts that makes us feel like no matter how much we run ourselves ragged, and no matter how much time we spend trying to be "perfect," we just will never make a difference. The awesome thing about God is that I KNOW I will make a difference. It just may not always be in the way I think I'm going to. But when He puts something in your heart, it's there for a reason. So, I'll embrace it and see what happens!
I didn't sleep more than an hour last night. I was in bed longer than that, but just couldn't sleep. After a two-week sermon series at my church on Biblical Femininity, I have had more tiny pings enter my heart. So, last night all I did was think. And pray. And think more. Then all morning, I thought. Then decided that if I ever want to sleep again, I should probably start doing everything I am thinking about. And so it begins!
First off, what is all this Proverbs 31 stuff about? Well, the best way to explain it is to let you read it yourself! I'm an English Standard girl, but for some reason, The Message version of this passage really sticks out to me. So, here's some reading for you for today!
10-31 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for her work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise; "Many women have done wonderful things, bu you've outclassed them all!" Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!
Whew! That is a doozy of a list, right?! See what I mean when I say I am very intimidated by the journey ahead of me? I know that I will never be perfect, but we are called to strive to be the best we can be in God's eyes, and not our own. So, it's time to see where I'm going.
My hope is to tackle a verse/sentence a week of this list by studying them in my daily quiet times and putting them into practice throughout the week, then see where it goes from there. I appreciate prayers from anyone who is interested in following this journey as I share (openly, might I add,) the things that I learn and the struggles I encounter. If you'd like to study along with me and let me know how your journey goes as well, feel free! For those that choose to do so, my first week of study will involve the first point: "A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds." and continue in that fashion.
I can't wait to fill you in on how this week goes on Sunday (the day I will regularly post.)
Blessings,
Trish
I suppose I should tell you a little about myself to start. I'm Trish, a daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother and Christian in my late twenties (who is not quite sure how she feels about placing the word "late" in that sentence.) I'm not anywhere near perfect, as I'm sure you will see in the following weeks/months as I share my journey with you. I'm striving daily to be the best I can be and to praise the Lord through it all with my words AND actions. I love to cook, read, craft, and decorate, but I am also good at being stubborn, frustrated, annoyed, and somewhat-lazy. Hence, my new journey.
As I'm sure many of you know, there is a small 21-verse section of the Bible that describes the perfect woman in God's eyes. And I'm sure that you also know of about a gazillion blogs and books dedicated to this 21-verse section. My hope is that this one may be different from the other gazillion things you have read. That little-ole-me can somehow make an impact based on the things I am learning. I have had a tiny dream in my heart since I was in high school that I have never shared with anyone. I promise... No one, my family included, knows about this dream even as I am typing it right now. In fact, I bet my husband learns this new fact about me right as he is reading this. (Hi, Honey!) I love to write. I have probably started eight-ten books since high school in college-ruled notebooks that are now in a landfill somewhere because I begin them and get frustrated, tossing them into the trash. Such a waste of paper, I know. But now there is this wonderful thing called the internet that allows me to just type and the words appear for you lovely people to read without wasting one tiny smidge of paper (besides the post-its that my notes are on.) So I decided it's time to see if I can actually make this dream a reality. I'm not looking to be published. Or to even be talked about. I'm just looking to make an impact, even if only on one person. To know that I mattered somehow. Because, as I'm sure most of you know, there is always this little ping in our hearts that makes us feel like no matter how much we run ourselves ragged, and no matter how much time we spend trying to be "perfect," we just will never make a difference. The awesome thing about God is that I KNOW I will make a difference. It just may not always be in the way I think I'm going to. But when He puts something in your heart, it's there for a reason. So, I'll embrace it and see what happens!
I didn't sleep more than an hour last night. I was in bed longer than that, but just couldn't sleep. After a two-week sermon series at my church on Biblical Femininity, I have had more tiny pings enter my heart. So, last night all I did was think. And pray. And think more. Then all morning, I thought. Then decided that if I ever want to sleep again, I should probably start doing everything I am thinking about. And so it begins!
First off, what is all this Proverbs 31 stuff about? Well, the best way to explain it is to let you read it yourself! I'm an English Standard girl, but for some reason, The Message version of this passage really sticks out to me. So, here's some reading for you for today!
10-31 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for her work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise; "Many women have done wonderful things, bu you've outclassed them all!" Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!
Whew! That is a doozy of a list, right?! See what I mean when I say I am very intimidated by the journey ahead of me? I know that I will never be perfect, but we are called to strive to be the best we can be in God's eyes, and not our own. So, it's time to see where I'm going.
My hope is to tackle a verse/sentence a week of this list by studying them in my daily quiet times and putting them into practice throughout the week, then see where it goes from there. I appreciate prayers from anyone who is interested in following this journey as I share (openly, might I add,) the things that I learn and the struggles I encounter. If you'd like to study along with me and let me know how your journey goes as well, feel free! For those that choose to do so, my first week of study will involve the first point: "A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds." and continue in that fashion.
I can't wait to fill you in on how this week goes on Sunday (the day I will regularly post.)
Blessings,
Trish
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