Week two of my studying focused on Proverbs 31:11, "Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it." (MSG) My mind, of course, automatically jumped to the type of marital trust that I am sure yours did also... Fidelity. In our generation, that's the type of trust you hear about most, and sadly, that's because it is uncommon.
Proverbs 7:10-23 (ESV) describes a woman who is "...wily of heart. She is loud and wayward..." (vs 10, 11) She breaks her husband's trust by eagerly seducing a man while her husband is away. Her speech, her appearance, and her home are all molded in a way to lure a man in as you "lead an ox to slaughter" (vs 22) and "he does not know it will cost him his life." (vs 23) This woman has had no intention of being faithful to her husband, and has no regard for his trust. Too often we hear about women who are exactly like the Proverbs 7 woman! Our society is full of people who are of the "gimme gimme" mindset, only seeking their own happiness and not regarding others.
Mary A. Kassian writes in her book, "Girls Gone Wise," "Faithlessness destroys unity. This is the case in all interpersonal relationships, but especially in marriage. Malachi says that those who fail to faithfully love a covenant partner 'cover their garments in violence.' (Malachi 2:16) They tear apart what God has joined." Your actions have so many consequences. They affect everyone around you, but especially your relationship with God!
Kassian states earlier in her book that, "Marriage is much more than a human covenant. It's a covenant with God. When a woman breaks faith with her husband, she doesn't just sin against her husband, she also sins against God and... against the entire covenant of believers." A covenant is a mutual agreement... a framework of trust, responsibilities, and benefits. If you are like me, you're thinking, "Okay... This all makes sense. I vowed to be faithful to my husband, and I have been. I've never been tempted to stray or cheat, so I've got this verse down! On to next week!" I'd encourage you to not think so quickly on this. Sure, I have never cheated on my husband, and have honestly never thought about it either. But trust is so much more than fidelity!
I'm a work-from-home mother. I cook, clean, pay bills, organize, care for our son, make sure everything is in order for our week, and also watch a toddler four days a week. My husband does not only trust me not to break fidelity with him, but also to continue to cook, clean, pay bills, organize, care for our son, make sure everything is in order, and watch a toddler four days a week. I assume the responsibility to pay our bills because one of my strengths is keeping track of our calendar, and therefore, when things are due. My husband handles the money, and I just write the checks and mail them. When we get behind on a bill for the month because I simply forget to pay it, and we have to assume the ridiculous $35.00 late fee on a $12.19 bill, I'm breaking trust. I've been trusted to write that check, and I haven't.
So I keep organized. I make sure I know what we are having for dinner weeks at a time. I keep our home tidy for the occasional drop-by visitor and our weekly community groups, and so that my nights are not consumed with "speed cleaning" and rather with an occasional clean-up. I care for our son as well as I am humanly able and help to teach him about God's goodness. Not because that's what a stereotypical "housewife" does... Because I want my husband to trust me without reserve, and to never have reason to regret it! And because when I honor that covenant with my husband to care for our family and home, I am also honoring God. Luke 16:10 says "One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much." (ESV) I want to be faithful in those little things that may not seem to matter to everyone else. Trust is like most traits... It must be built. How can you be trusted to be faithful in the large things when you can't even be trusted to provide your family with food and proper care?
When I first read this week's verse, I didn't realize it would convict me as much as it has. It's funny how when you dig deep, you find things you would have never expected!
Next week will be focused on Proverbs 31:12, "Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long."
Also, as a side note, I've decided Sundays are too hectic to do my postings, so I will be updating on Mondays from now on. So... See you all next Monday!
Blessings,
Trish
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